How to Explain Transgender to a Child: A Simple, Friendly Guide

  • By: admin
  • Date: September 19, 2023
  • Time to read: 11 min.

If you’re a parent or caregiver, you may be wondering how to talk to your child about transgender individuals. It’s important to have these conversations, as they help build empathy, understanding, and acceptance among children. In this guide, we’ll provide you with tips and resources to explain transgender to children in a simple, friendly way that they can understand.

Before we delve into the specifics of discussing transgender with children, it’s important to understand why these conversations are so crucial. By talking to children about transgender, you can help them become more informed and compassionate individuals, while creating a safe and inclusive environment for all.

Key Takeaways:

  • It’s important to have conversations with children about transgender topics to build empathy, understanding, and acceptance.
  • By talking about transgender with children, you can create a safe and inclusive environment for all.

Why It’s Important to Talk to Kids About Transgender

If you’re wondering whether or not to have a conversation with your child about transgender topics, the answer is yes! Not only is it important to teach children about gender identity and diversity, but it’s also critical for creating a more inclusive and accepting society.

By having open and honest discussions, you can help your child develop a greater understanding and empathy for transgender individuals, as well as equip them with the tools to be an ally and advocate for equality.

Moreover, talking to kids about transgender helps to dispel stereotypes and reduce the risk of bullying or discrimination towards transgender individuals. It also allows children who may be questioning their own gender identity to feel seen and supported.

Why It’s Important to Talk to Kids About Transgender

There are several key reasons why talking to kids about transgender is important:

  1. It promotes understanding and acceptance of diversity.
  2. It reduces the risk of bullying or discrimination towards transgender individuals.
  3. It provides support for children who may be questioning their own gender identity.
  4. It equips children with the tools to be an ally and advocate for equality.

By discussing transgender with your child, you can help shape a more inclusive and accepting future.

talking to kids about transgender

Understanding Gender Identity

Explaining gender identity to a child can seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Gender identity is how a person sees themselves in terms of gender. It’s important to emphasize that gender identity and biological sex are not the same thing. Biological sex is based on physical characteristics, such as genitalia and chromosomes, while gender identity is about how a person feels inside.

Here’s an example to help illustrate the concept: Let’s say you have a friend named Alex who was assigned male at birth but feels like a girl inside. Even though Alex was born with a male body, she knows that she is really a girl. This is because Alex’s gender identity is female, and that’s how she wants to be seen and treated by others.

It’s important to emphasize that everyone has a gender identity, even if they may not have thought about it or recognized it yet. Encourage your child to think about their own gender identity and express themselves in a way that feels comfortable to them. By doing so, you can help your child understand and respect the gender identities of others.

how to explain transgender to a child

Explaining Transgender to Children

When explaining transgender to children, it’s important to use age-appropriate language and provide visual aids to help them understand. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to approach the conversation:

  1. Start with the basics: Explain to your child that everyone has a gender, and that sometimes people feel like they’re a different gender than the one they were assigned at birth.
  2. Use examples: Help your child understand what it means to be transgender by giving examples of different gender expressions. For instance, you could explain that just because someone was born with a male body, doesn’t mean they feel like a boy inside.
  3. Encourage questions: Let your child ask questions and express any confusion or concerns they may have. Be prepared to answer honestly and openly, using language appropriate for their age.
  4. Emphasize respect: Teach your child to respect people who identify as transgender, just as they would respect anyone else. Explain that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and understanding.

It’s important to remember that every child is different, and may have different questions or concerns. Be patient and open-minded, and let your child guide the conversation as much as possible.

discussing gender identity with kids

Addressing Common Questions and Concerns

As you discuss transgender with your child, it’s natural for them to have questions and concerns. Here are some common ones you may encounter:

Question or Concern Possible Response
“What does it mean to be transgender?” Transgender means that someone identifies as a gender that does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, a person who was assigned male at birth may identify as a woman.
“Why do some people choose to transition?” Transitioning can help a transgender person feel more comfortable and aligned with their gender identity. It may involve changing their name, pronouns, appearance, and even their body through medical interventions such as hormone therapy or surgery.
Can you change from being a boy to a girl, or vice versa? While a person’s sex is determined by their biology, gender is a social construct that can encompass a wide range of identities and expressions. It’s okay to be who you are, whether that means identifying as a boy, a girl, or anything else.
Will my friend or family member still be the same person if they transition? Yes! While transitioning may involve changes in appearance or behavior, a person’s core identity and personality remain the same. They are still the same friend or family member you know and care about.
“What if I don’t understand or agree with someone’s gender identity?” It’s okay to have questions or doubts, but it’s important to approach this topic with an open mind and respect for others. Remember that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and dignity, regardless of their gender identity.

By addressing these and other questions your child may have, you can help them develop a deeper understanding and acceptance of transgender people.

Transgender awareness for children

Emphasizing Inclusion and Acceptance

Teaching your child about transgender is not only about building knowledge but also fostering empathy, respect, and support towards transgender individuals. It is important to emphasize inclusion and acceptance in all aspects of your child’s life.

Here are a few ways you can emphasize inclusion and acceptance:

  • Encourage your child to ask questions and listen with an open mind.
  • Avoid using language that is derogatory or stigmatizing towards transgender individuals.
  • Explain to your child that everyone has the right to express their gender identity and that it is not a choice or something that can be changed.
  • Provide examples of famous transgender individuals who have made significant contributions to society.
  • Encourage your child to speak up if they witness any bullying or discrimination towards transgender individuals or any other marginalized groups.
transgender flag

“Transgender people deserve the same respect and dignity as everyone else. It costs nothing to be kind and accepting towards others, and it can make a world of difference.

“We have to be taught to celebrate differences, just as we were taught to fear them.”

Resources for Further Learning

Learning about transgender can be an ongoing process, and there are many useful resources available to help children and their families gain a deeper understanding of this topic. Whether you’re looking for books, websites, or videos, there are many options to choose from that are appropriate for different ages and levels of understanding.

One excellent resource is the website Gender Spectrum, which provides a wealth of information and support for families with transgender or gender-expansive children. The site includes helpful articles, webinars, and a directory of local support groups and service providers.

Another helpful resource is the book I Am Jazz by Jazz Jennings and Jessica Herthel, which tells the story of a transgender girl and her experiences navigating the world. The book is beautifully illustrated and written in a way that is accessible and engaging for younger readers.

The video “Pronouns Matter” from the Human Rights Campaign is also a great resource for teaching children about the importance of using proper pronouns when referring to transgender individuals. The video features a variety of young people discussing their experiences with pronouns and why they matter.

Other useful resources include the books Be Who You Are by Jennifer Carr and When Roya Became a Refugee by Elaheh Bos, as well as the organizations TransKids Purple Rainbow Foundation and PFLAG National.

Resources for Further Learning

Creating a Supportive Environment

As a parent, you play an important role in creating a supportive environment for your child. Here are some practical suggestions and strategies you can use to help your child feel valued, accepted, and supported:

  • Listen actively: When your child talks to you about their feelings, concerns or experiences, it’s important to listen to them with an open mind and heart. Show empathy, validate their emotions and provide a safe space for them to express themselves.
  • Respect their identity: Use your child’s chosen name and pronouns consistently, regardless of their gender identity or expression. This signals respect and support and helps your child feel affirmed and seen.
  • Advocate for your child: Speak up if you see or hear someone misgendering or discriminating against your child. Educate others about transgender issues and advocate for your child’s rights in school, healthcare, and other settings.

It’s important to create a supportive environment for your child at home, but it’s also important to encourage this attitude in other settings, such as school or community activities. Consider reaching out to your child’s teachers, coaches, or other caregivers and sharing resources that can help them better understand and support transgender children.

Remember, your role as a parent is to love and support your child unconditionally, regardless of their gender identity or expression. By creating a supportive environment and fostering a sense of acceptance and inclusion, you can help your child thrive and feel affirmed in who they are.

Creating a supportive environment

Talking to Others About Transgender

It’s important to remember that not everyone will have the same level of knowledge or understanding about transgender as you do. When talking to others about this topic, be patient and open-minded. Here are a few tips for approaching these conversations:

  1. Start with empathy: Acknowledge that this may be a difficult or unfamiliar topic for some people. Let them know that you are willing to answer questions and provide resources to help them better understand.
  2. Use inclusive language: Be mindful of the language you use when discussing transgender individuals. Use their preferred pronouns and avoid making assumptions about their gender or identity.
  3. Share your reasons: Explain why it’s important to you to discuss this topic, whether it’s because you have a loved one who is transgender or you simply want to promote understanding and acceptance.
  4. Use examples: Sometimes it can be helpful to use examples or personal stories to illustrate the points you are making. This can help others relate to the topic and understand its significance.
  5. Provide resources: Offer to share resources, such as books, articles, or websites, that can further explain transgender topics. This can help others continue learning and exploring on their own.

Remember that these conversations can be challenging, but they are also incredibly important. By talking openly and honestly about transgender with others, you can help promote empathy, understanding, and acceptance for all.

talking about transgender awareness

Celebrating Diversity

Teaching children about transgender is not just about understanding and acceptance; it’s also about celebrating diversity. By educating your children about different gender identities and expressions, you are helping them appreciate the beauty of individuality and promoting inclusivity in all aspects of life. Here are some tips to help you celebrate diversity with your children:

  • Encourage questions: Let your children know that it’s okay to ask questions and express curiosity about different genders, expressions, and identities.
  • Share stories: Read books or watch videos with your children that feature transgender individuals or explore gender identity and expression.
  • Attend events: Attend events that celebrate diversity, such as Pride parades or festivals. This will expose your children to different people and experiences.
  • Model inclusivity: Be an example of inclusivity in your own life. Treat all people with respect, regardless of their gender identity or expression.
  • Encourage expression: Allow your children to express themselves however they want, whether it’s through clothing, hairstyle, or hobbies.

By celebrating diversity, you are showing your children that everyone is unique and special in their own way. This can help instill empathy, compassion, and respect towards others, which are important values to carry throughout life.

Celebrating Diversity with Children


Now that you’ve learned how to explain transgender to a child, you have the tools to approach this conversation with confidence and empathy. Remember, discussing gender identity with children is an important step towards creating a more inclusive and accepting society. By teaching children about transgender and promoting empathy, respect, and support, we can help create a world where everyone feels valued and accepted for who they are.

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Q: How do I explain transgender to my child?

A: Explaining transgender to a child can be done in a simple and friendly way. Start by explaining that sometimes, a person’s gender identity doesn’t match the body they were born with. Use age-appropriate language and examples to help them understand.

Q: Why is it important to talk to kids about transgender?

A: It’s important to have conversations with children about transgender to promote understanding, acceptance, and empathy. By teaching them about gender diversity, we can create a more inclusive and supportive society.

Q: What is gender identity?

A: Gender identity refers to how a person identifies themselves in terms of being a boy, girl, both, or neither. It’s important to explain to children that everyone’s gender identity is valid and should be respected.

Q: How can I explain transgender to children?

A: To explain transgender to children, use age-appropriate language and visual aids if needed. Emphasize that being transgender is completely normal and that everyone deserves respect and acceptance.

Q: What are some common questions and concerns children may have about transgender?

A: It’s common for children to have questions and concerns when learning about transgender. We will address these questions and provide guidance to help parents navigate these conversations with their children.

Q: How can I create a supportive environment for transgender children?

A: Creating a supportive environment for transgender children involves using their preferred pronouns, educating others about transgender issues, and promoting inclusive language and attitudes.

Q: How do I talk to others about transgender?

A: When talking to others about transgender, it’s important to be respectful, understanding, and supportive. We will provide guidance on how to have these conversations with friends, family, and teachers.

Q: How can we celebrate diversity?

A: Celebrating diversity means embracing differences in gender identity, expression, and more. By promoting inclusivity, we can create a more accepting and equal society.

Q: Are there any resources available for further learning about transgender?

A: Yes, we will provide a list of age-appropriate resources, such as books, websites, and videos, that can help children and their parents further understand and explore transgender topics.

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